Friday, January 16, 2015

Consternation

I was on a morning stroll on Facebook last Wednesday and the news caught my eyes. Attack on Charlie Hebdo. 12 people dead. I said out loud «Quoi ???» What ?

Among the casualties, I read those names that were so familiar, Cabu, Wolinsky – all dead. “It is not possible. I can’t believe it.”

Cabu was familiar since my childhood, he was on a kid’s show then later on the Canard EnchainĂ©, which I read every week when I became an adult. Drawings of Wolinsky were everywhere, the Canard, Paris-Match (equivalent of People)… This was devastating. American news focused most on Charb, the Editor of the newspaper but Cabu and Wolinsky were the most famous ones - for all those who were not readers of Charlie Hebdo. 

I went through the following days. I was working, talking, smiling but I was also in another dimension, curled up in a corner, in tears and pulling my hair off, repeating “I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it…” over and over and over…
I followed the news. I did not want to hear about anything else because I could not think about anything else.

The French channel, TV5 on Comcast, had good news but only once in a while. I turned to CNN and was not disappointed. They went all Breaking News and focused on what was going on in France.


That same night, I was on my way to church for a meeting. I stopped in a Starbuck – the only place for a decent hot chocolate. Two teenagers were waiting for their latte and one of them had a 6 weeks old puppy in her arms. “He was born in the garage of our neighbor, she explained, noticing my interest. A stray dog came in, had the litter there. They did not know her. We are going to keep this little guy.”

I said something nice about the pup, which made the girls curious. Apparently my accent can be heard even after a few words. They asked. “French???" said one, who seemed almost incredulous. The face of the other one saddened. “That’s terrible what happened over there. I am so sorry!” I was surprised she knew. Teenagers are often not that connected with news, particularly when something happens abroad.  

“Do you want to hold him?” she said. I took her pup in my arms. He was warm and sleepy. He moved to be more comfortable and I felt his muzzle on my neck.

A few minutes later, I walked back to my car. Something hard and tense in my chest had softened a bit.

“What is left to the human when uncertainty alone seems to be a sure thing?” wrote Marie Cenec[1].

What is left is a moment with a warm sleeping puppy in your arms.



[1] “C’est tous les Jours Dimanche”, quoted by my friend Michele Lortscher on Facebook. 

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